Candles and Flames
by realized
Summary: Being in love is somewhat similar to being close to the flame without touching it... But what if you did? Femmeslash G/Hr.


_AN: This story kinda just popped into my head while listening to one of my dads old records. :P _

**Candles and flames**

I sat quietly in my room, looking at the candle. Well, maybe not so much the _actual_ candle, as the vivid flame. It kept me captivated somehow, - as if it held the answer to all of my questions. Enlighten me somehow? I had no idea as to where the answers would come from; I suppose I just need to think.

Think of how I'd tell her. If I should. Or if it was just one of those things that's better left unsaid. Not the most comfortable way to come out, or admit to being in love. _"Hey, you know, I'm gay, and as a bonus, I'm in love with you. Choked? Can't imagine why…"_

As I toyed with the flame, hovering my fingers above it, close to the flame, but though not enough to get burned, just enough to feel the heat on my fingertips. Like with her, I keep close to her, touching her, talking with her, spending entire nights in tight embrace in the cool common room, surrounded by a thin blanket, living in our own little world with the boys. I think that's the closest I've ever been to happiness. Total bliss. Just talking with her Harry and Ron, her leaning against me, our fingers intertwined. But at the same time I feel at a total loss, since we're supposedly just friends. I feel guilty for keeping this secret from her. I never touch the actual flame. What if I get burned?

I want to tell her. But what if I do, and it takes the burden off of my shoulders, just to place it on hers?

Love isn't logical. I guess that's why I'm having such a hard time at it. If it would just be logical I could at least rationalize it, and maybe understand it. Don't get me wrong, I love it as much as I hate it, it makes the sun shine brighter, the clouds looks like hearts and nargles, (don't ask) but it's a frustrating happiness?

I slowly breathed at the candle, so it would flicker slightly, as there was a soft knock at the door. There was a creak as it opened, and a red haired, fair skinned, slender figure of a freckled girl walked in. She sat down on my bed for a few seconds, sharing some comfortable silence.

"You know what they say about playing with fire…" She said, sighing. I looked at her pale face, smiling at her. I blew out the candle, gesturing to the dying spark "Happy?" I grinned at her. She nodded.

"And you know what they say about people in showers…" I said, she looked confused. "Umm… What?" I grinned, "They get wet." I stated, grinning sheepishly.

I got up from my chair to sit next to her.

"Something up?" I asked her. She sighed. "Not really I guess… Just missed you. Though, I can tell you about this guy I met at a party?" She said enthusiastically.

I nodded a little too vividly, giving her a playful push.

"Well, it was last Friday, at that party you didn't feel like attending…" She paused, sighed, and continued: "Well, this boy, a hufflepuff I think, walked over to me, blushing like there was no tomorrow, stated talking about Quidditch and school, flirting, or at least trying to flirt I think, and then, out of the blue, asked if it would be all right if he kissed me."

My stomach dropped, I swallowed hard "So, what'd you answer him?" I asked, not sure I really wanted to know the answer.

"I told him no of course." She laughed. Suddenly I felt much better. "Guys are under the impression it's romantic, instead of really awkward, asking instead of just doing it, which is an example on how misinformed they are. I solemnly swear I'll never say yes, when they ask me such a dumb question." She said in a mock serious tone. She then sighed, "You'd never ask before kissing someone… Would you?…" She asked quietly. I could never figure her out, but this was a chance in a lifetime.

I leaned in against her, starring at her rosecouldered lips, and took the kiss I wanted for so long. At first she tensed, but quickly relaxed, opening her mouth even more, our tongues dancing, my hand on her neck and her hand I noticed gladly, stroking my thigh.

As I drew away, her eyes were still closed. I was worried this was just a 'well-we're-friends-so-this-is-just-a-fun-anecdote', it was something she didn't mind, judging by her engagement in the kiss, and the while it lasted.

Then she looked up and smiled. A little blush made their way through on her cheeks. "You're a good kisser, you know that?"

I shrugged "I'd expect nothing less from me. You're not that bad either…" I said, in a mock tone of arrogance.

She gave my shoulder a playful hit, saying, "Of course I'm not!" But grinning from ear to ear.

She went unusually quiet. Tipping her toes up and down, starring intensy at them.

"I'm glad you got the hint." She whispered, as if unsure of weather or not she wanted me to hear it.

I blushed and whispered, "I'm glad I got it too." Not totally confident I wanted her to hear it.

We sat there for what felt like 10 minutes in an awkward silence, till I with a finger slowly ran it up her back, tracing her jaw line, and lifting her head, while keeping my finger under her chin.

I looked into her blue eyes. Those blue eyes I adored so much, closed the distance between us once again, this time only not so worried. It was soft and gentle, but at the same time passionate enough for me to want to do things to her I'd only done in my dreams. If this chance never came back, I wanted to use it all I could.

As we stopped she drew away slowly, I stuttered, staring at my nails as if they were made of gold, "I've- I've g-got to tell you something?" She nodded, and I fidgeted with my hands, as I came to say what I'd been so scared to tell her. "Listen I, I've been - I'd never lie to you, I'm in- I've had these-" "'Mione, what is it?" Still looking at my hands, I simply stated "I'm in- I like you. As in _more_ than friends." Fly or fall; now I'd said it.

She forced me to look at her, "I know."

"You knew?" I said in utter disbelief.

"Well… Yeah. For one thing, there is only so many of my shirts you can love. Yes I noticed you staring at my breasts." She smiled. "And how you got so shy when I held your hand." She took my hand.

"You may be very smart, but good at hiding things, you aren't." She paused. "Which is lucky for me."

"Lucky?"

She stood up, leaving me confused, until she pushed me down on the bed, placed herself so she was hovering just above me, kissing me. This time harder, but still somehow gentle, as if to show me she cared. I placed my hands at her waist and neck, while she had her free hand tracing my thigh.

As the kiss stopped, I couldn't do anything but smile "I think I just touched the flame…" As I toyed with her hair I just said "And… It felt wonderful."


End file.
